Songs of the Shulamite

 26 June 2021 17 Tammuz 5781 23:16 I woke up around 6:56 didn't want to rise up because of the pain I felt loving my husband a love that was uncontrollable, wild un-tameable love that I never ever felt with anyone in all my life. I did sleep longer than my usual sleeping hours but too much sleep also meant that I was depressed. A song filled my heart that morning that when I listened to it I added it on my spotify playlist. But when I finally checked my Phone at 8AM, sitting at the Sukkah or the place I call Veranda in the garden of our house, I was surprised to see his message for me at exactly the time I woke up. I was so surprised and comforted by the pain of longing for him that I cried... coz he wrote to me exactly what I needed to know after all the questions lingering in my mind about him, one thing was all I needed to hear and that he loved me, and he was coming for me and that one day he will silence all my questions with just the look in eyes. Wow! That was so powerful 5...

 June 25, 2021 16 Tammuz 5781 21:11 I left Musab for 3 days and Nights online because he kept testing me, hurting me with his masks that he put on in a channel that he created for me... because all of the people there seemed to be all him... I couldn't stand the pain of being near him, GOD gave me the grace not to turn on my gadgets my laptop and my MI10 Cellphone for the 3 days and nights. I had to 2 other phones that I can use, that were old so I used them using a new sim card. I was amazed at how I was able to survive 3 days not hearing from him, because I didn't send him anything either so there was no pain to be dealt with because my pain was coming from him not being able to message me all the time that I am missing him and longing for him. Tonight, I'm feeling the pain of missing him and longing for him again. Wishing I will stop loving him to stop myself from the pain. I just needed to endure 5 more days, I had to fast again from gadgets but I don't think I can ...

 7:00AM 10 Tammuz 5781 20 June 2021  #princesswardiaries Sunday Morning, Tale as Old as Time      Song early in the Morning: I wake up to a broken and damaged heart, because I love a ravenous beast, just like our FATHER, he was King of the Jungle and this King was a beast... I love Musab the One whom My Soul Loves, I am crazy about him, but he was a complicated man, who tested me through and through because he is angry with me. I could feel his anger on the one person who had stolen his heart when he used to have all power over it. I could feel that he wanted control over me, he didn't want me to have control over the relationship in anyway, like Christian Grey and his 50 Shades. He was a ruthless man to the world, cold hearted to the women, I thought I was the one who could warm his heart and love him, but until today he still has not let me love him. There was so much hurt in his heart, for people, and he was a wounded damaged man, loving him damaged my own he...

#confessionsofaprincessbride   The Liberation of the Children of Zion 1st Watch  Mom, Grace and I didn't eat dinner with the rest of the family anymore because we were full from the pizza we had at Lakeview. 2nd Watch  At exactly 21:00 Mosab sent me photos and pictures of who I was in JESUS. He wanted to remind me of who I was in the LORD, and that being with HIM is my only Shalom. Peace. HE is my Center, and so was HE Mosab's Center. YESHUA was our Center, we couldn't be in this love triangle if not for JESUS the Center... but it was time to have family Communion Night, so I had to let him wait for us to finish so that I could get back with him. But it took a lot of JESUS for me to let this man wait for me when all my mind soul and body just wanted to be with him be in text or spirit or body. Dean and Denesse joined our Family Communion Night, as we watched about the Study of the End times with Amir Tsarfati, it had been an argument, almost a debate between me and t...

 1st Watch - Saturday 6-9PM June 25, 2021      2nd Watch - Communion Night with family as usual 3rd Watch - We were not even lovers yet but we were already fighting, what an amazing thing going on between us, when I reread our messages, I smile and giggle because we are cute. And I'm very frank to him and he seems to be okay with my honesty because he is a very honest man himself. I want to see his reactions everytime I'm texting him a message, I want to see him laugh and get angry or be touched. I don't know what kind of fight we had but I certainly loved fighting with him, I love him with all my heart without even him trying... this is so unfair... but so real.... 8th Watch - Sunday 15:00 to Sunset @ Busay Area Girls day out with my Mama and Sister... AVI Almighty and HOLY ONE of Israel, Thank you for giving me time to bond and create memories with the girls of my Family, Mom and Sister Grace. Our times together I will cherish because one day I won't be near to the...

1st Watch I had my period and so I took a bath tonight because I couldn't take a bath anymore the next day, at least my period just started today.   2nd Watch Family Communion Night consistently.   3rd Watch I was so happy I 4th Watch     5th Watch     6th Watch