26 Sivan 5781 Sunday

 1st Watch - Saturday 6-9PM June 25, 2021

 

 

 2nd Watch - Communion Night with family as usual

3rd Watch - We were not even lovers yet but we were already fighting, what an amazing thing going on between us, when I reread our messages, I smile and giggle because we are cute. And I'm very frank to him and he seems to be okay with my honesty because he is a very honest man himself. I want to see his reactions everytime I'm texting him a message, I want to see him laugh and get angry or be touched. I don't know what kind of fight we had but I certainly loved fighting with him, I love him with all my heart without even him trying... this is so unfair... but so real....

8th Watch - Sunday 15:00 to Sunset @ Busay Area

Girls day out with my Mama and Sister...

AVI Almighty and HOLY ONE of Israel,

Thank you for giving me time to bond and create memories with the girls of my Family, Mom and Sister Grace. Our times together I will cherish because one day I won't be near to them as I always am now... Forgive me for the lies I told My precious brother whom I have waited to love because of the fears that I didn't know still haunted me, traumas that I didn't know were buried deep and vows that I made to myself because of the violence inflected on me in the past. I remember Prophet Cez prayed for me regarding this issue, early this year. Thank you for those who faithfully watch over my Spirit.

Forgive me for hurting your Beloved Son Mosab when I told him to leave me alone. It wasn't him, I didn't want to talk to Alhamdan anymore because I was tired but maybe it was needed to protect us both. Forgive me for my impatience. Forgive me for fearing that he is "another Antonio" I know he is not. He is far from him. But I forget why I had to endure his pain and traumas from girls and past experiences that made him difficult in the first place, it was for our sake. Forgive me for my ignorance, right now I started to read this book so that I could understand this man more and I was heartbroken when he was violently assaulted by the Israeli Soldiers. I believe his story, all of it because I met an Israeli from Israaid, who was raped while he was serving in the military as prerequisite to getting to University. I understood it was compulsory for everyone to be trained in the IDF but I didn't know the brutality of Israel Soldiers in the Camp that they would rape the new recruits, weaker men just to feel stronger than any other men in the Camp. This lust for powerful is a growing monster not only among terrorist muslims but within the people of GOD even in your church this has been a hidden snake hiding behind the masks of religion. Everybody is abusing everyone and it never ends, this cycle of evil will defile so many people in this cruel world. My brother was a victim of that and I never understood his pain because I just read his book today. So forgive me ABBA for mishandling this man that you love. Forgive me. I pray he will find it in his heart to forgive me and never let me go because I cannot get away from him. I am bound to him even before he has taken my virginity, our  binding covenant is Spiritual, stronger than any physical bond. For it was YOU who have bound us together ever since the World even began. As I read the first 3 chapters of his life, I held the book real tight in my arms and prayed, ABBA, help me to love this man the best that I can, YOU created me for him so YOU trust me to carry his fragile heart..... so help me ABBA because it's so easy for me to hurt him if I allow my own fears to rule me... please ABBA help me I cannot do this without YOU, my love is not strong enough but YOUR love in me for him will carry us through this wonderful journey called marriage. Help me to finish reading his book and to understand the  depth of his heart before he gets here. I can't talk to him on chat because it's so hard for me not to not tell him that I love him and he mistakes my love for impatience... Help us to control ourselves to wait for the wedding day to consume our love on the wedding Night, don't allow our fears get the best of us... Please ABBA, we cannot love one another without you, human love is so selfish, but we need YOUR DIVINE love to rule us so we can love one another perfectly the way each one of us needs to be loved. I could not stop loving him anyway even if I wanted to, not even my fears can stop this great LOVE that YOU have for him that you have planted and grown in my heart.

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. KJV

I praise YOU and thank YOU for Mama Ester for teaching me to love a spouse divinely and not carnally because of her suffering and testimony, my own journey in marriage can be smoother because YOU gave me opportunity to learn from her and her husbands story.

So I trust you to break down the rest of the walls of his heart and mine, minister to us ABBA, because there are many bagages we need to let go of if we want to make marriage successful

All Glory and honor and power belongs to YOU ABBA!!! 

Ba HaSHEM YESHUA HAMASHIACH, AMEN!