#confessionsofaprincessbride
The Liberation of the Children of Zion
1st Watch
Mom, Grace and I didn't eat dinner with the rest of the family anymore because we were full from the pizza we had at Lakeview.
2nd Watch
At exactly 21:00 Mosab sent me photos and pictures of who I was in JESUS. He wanted to remind me of who I was in the LORD, and that being with HIM is my only Shalom. Peace. HE is my Center, and so was HE Mosab's Center. YESHUA was our Center, we couldn't be in this love triangle if not for JESUS the Center... but it was time to have family Communion Night, so I had to let him wait for us to finish so that I could get back with him. But it took a lot of JESUS for me to let this man wait for me when all my mind soul and body just wanted to be with him be in text or spirit or body.
Dean and Denesse joined our Family Communion Night, as we watched about the Study of the End times with Amir Tsarfati, it had been an argument, almost a debate between me and them onto the right Rapture event. All of them always says it's a Pre-Tribulation Rapture, but I always say it's a Middle Tribulation Rapture, they cannot accept my beliefs and almost want to convert me to their beliefs, it's the most ugly thing I've seen in the world of religion and the culture in our country where we had to all agree in one thing to be in unity. It's not like that! We don't always have to agree how we interpret the scriptures and it's okay... But that night, I didn't have energy to counter their arguments, my mind was occupied with Mosab... So when Family Communion Night was over, I took the first step to initiate a proper conversation with him as grown up adults. I hated the way he pretended to be hiding in another man and tried to sound stupid. I just wanted to set the records straight. I said okay stop pretending anymore, we have to talk as adults. And he did come out eventually, coz I wrote a long chat but his response was only a prayer icon, a smile. At that time, I realized he was really shy, he couldn't open up his heart to anybody. I understood even more who Boaz was because he became a real person and he was my husband and I was his Ruth. I claimed him for myself publicly, not in private in the middle of the night. We are entering the Millenia Kingdom, and in the 21st Century, there are changes to how GOD does things.
3rd Watch
He had to go to church and so it was my turn to wait for him... I tried to stay awake for the Night Watch but I slept at 2AM and left him a message to ring me when he arrives.
4th Watch
He did leave me a message that he arrived home but he didn't ring me. He was thoughtful enough. At 5:10AM I woke up and messaged him right away. I asked the time of his location. He hasn't been lying at all in the beginning, he was where he said he was. And so our chats continued today. We were talking about our wedding, how it's going to happen wow! everything was quick and fast... it's like we read each other's minds and it's like every dream and fantasy of mine is becoming a reality, it's hard to believe!!! But the chances of it happening are also impossibility! I don't know how to react, happy or sad? What a story this is going to be.
5th Watch
We chatted non stop, I wanted us to write letters to one another, he didn't agree, I had so many questions he wouldn't answer. I'm left with nothing to hold on to... While I answered all his questions for him, even before he asked them, I couldn't understand why he was holding out these important matters to me. It was something I needed, to cherish in my heart, I need to know how the LORD told him, but he didn't want me to know, he was holding me out of information. It's like he controlled me with a bridle and I did whatever he wanted me to do, even though I hated being ruled by another King because he was a bit rough with me, and KING JESUS did not handle me like that, so I was taken aback that's why I left him, the first time he revealed himself to me but I couldn't get away far. He had some kind of control over me but it wasn't him, it was the KING who had control over me, and all he had to do to take me back was to ask the KING and I was back with him. It was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced in my life. I was still a virgin yet it felt like he had already broken me in my Spirit and made me subject to him and I let him rule over me... even before there was something going on in the Physical, the Spiritual is taking place now. I was given 2 months to prepare for his coming. I was excited but I felt the pressure.
6th Watch
So many doubts flying over my brain... I gave him all my doubts and he would address them appropriately. He was a man of faith and positivity. He was everything I ever wanted and dreamt. And I only had faith to guide me, the HOLY SPIRIT keeping us together even though I am blind folded and he is not. But he was even more amazed that I could answer all his questions even before he started asking them.
7th Watch
I was at the bank with my sister Grace to do one of things he asked me to do, and it was not a simple thing, it took a lot of faith and step... and I was pressured, I feel the discomfort. Like GOD was taking me beyond who I was, out of the boundaries of my comfort zones and this new King was leading me. Even before we sealed the deal written in the form of paper through contracts and sealed with the blood of my virginity, he had already made me his wife in the Spirit and I was completely under his rulership, and I could feel myself breaking in the Spirit. It was so real. So much doubts came surging through me attacking me, but I was honest about it with him, everything. After I did what he asked me I went home, slept, I couldn't function well. I became a totally different person under a new King, I was still adjusting. I was tired from dealing with the changes I had to sleep to regain strength. So we agreed to talk in the evening again. And I was excited because he was going to reveal more things that I needed to know.
8th Watch
But at 16:00 he had messaged me that I had to make changes of what I just did for him this morning. I was awakened by his message and so I hurriedly went to fix it. I was a bit irritated why he didn't give me the right information the first time, these things are so important for intelligence to be mistaken. But he was human and so was I. So I went and did more things for him and when he couldn't be there for me when I needed him, I just shut down and walked away. I don't like it when he is not there for me, I felt abandoned and so my reaction was, abandon him too. Because I knew he would be busy today, I promised to disturb him only after our family communion night, so it was right for me to just leave him alone while he needed to work. But I left him with hurtful words because I was hurt and now that I have written everything down, all my doubts begin to melt away. I have to do this journal thing everyday for my sake so that I don't lose my sanity. Every time I lost confidence in who I was he was always the one to prophecy me back to life. He was my Adam and because I was with blood, my hormones were out of control and I had sexual thoughts about him, I struggled to keep my thoughts pure regarding this man. I knew this was not pleasing to GOD because I'm not yet officially his bride. And it's only good that we are worlds apart because I wouldn't be able to keep myself from him. My Spirit is like magnet to his, and my whole being never felt this way before. We were without a cook but I couldn't cook for the family, I was physically there but mentally and emotionally absent because I was already someone else's wife. My Dad is talking to me while we have snacks. I still try to be there for my family but they have noticed something different about me I know they have. And if I was being honest, every fiber of my being wanted him to rip me apart... I wanted him so much, it's driving me insane, I wanted him inside of me, I wanted to be one with him, even if it will hurt me because the missing rib is trying to find where it had come from and it longed to be unified with the rest of it's body under one HEAD our CHRIST. So because of all my feelings surging all over my body and soul, I couldn't function properly, I went to be with ADONAI under our secret places, I asked HIM to speak to me, give me my peace, why am I feeling so dazed and pressured, I wanted to understand what was happening to me. And the WORD HE gave me was in Ephesians 4. The church I go to are now studying the Intrinsic and Organic Building Up of the Church as the Body of Christ. I've learned so much from our Morning Revival as the Bride of Christ during this time that he is making me the Bride of a wonderful beloved Prince that is being crowned as the future King of Philistia, King Yousef, My Mosab.
Ephesians 4
Ep 4:1I beseech you therefore, I, the prisoner in the Lord, to walk worthily of the calling with which you were called, (this has already been explained to me by Mama Ester that the church is composed of the sought out ones, or the called ones)
Ep 4:2With all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, bearing one another in love,
(I'm sorry brother, I'm not very patient, but please be patient with me, I'm working on it)
Ep 4:3Being diligent to keep the oneness of the Spirit in the uniting bond of peace:
(okay I failed this today, I'm sorry Brother, I will do better next time)
Ep 4:4One Body and one Spirit, even as also you were called in one hope of your calling;
Ep 4:5One Lord, one faith, one baptism;
Ep 4:6One God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
WE WERE MEANT TO BE ONE
Ep 4:7But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of the gift of Christ.
Ep 4:8Therefore the Scripture says, “Having ascended to the height, He led captive those taken captive and gave gifts to men.”
The KING led Mosab who was a captive ascending him to the height and gave me as a gift.
Ep 4:9(Now this, “He ascended,” what is it except that He also descended into the lower parts of the earth?
Ep 4:10He who descended, He is also the One who ascended far above all the heavens that He might fill all things.)
Ep 4:11And He Himself gave some as apostles and some as prophets and some as evangelists and some as shepherds and teachers,
HE gave me to Mosab as Prophet and Mosab was given to me as my Prophet and to the world we are prophets for the building up of the rest of His body.
Ep 4:12For the perfecting of the saints unto the work of the ministry, unto the building up of the Body of Christ,
It's all for the BODY of CHRIST.
Ep 4:13Until we all arrive at the oneness of the faith and of the full knowledge of the Son of God, at a full-grown man, at the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,
Ep 4:14That we may be no longer little children tossed by waves and carried about by every wind of teaching in the sleight of men, in craftiness with a view to a system of error,
Ep 4:15But holding to truth in love, we may grow up into Him in all things, who is the Head, Christ,
(I HAD TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF OF OUR TRUTH - HE is my husband, the King GOD has chosen for me, I'm just adjusting that's why I'm having a hard time)
Ep 4:16Out from whom all the Body, being joined together and being knit together through every joint of the rich supply and through the operation in the measure of each one part, causes the growth of the Body unto the building up of itself in love.
(To be joined together, this explains why I wanted him inside me)
Ep 4:17This therefore I say and testify in the Lord, that you no longer walk as the Gentiles also walk in the vanity of their mind,
Ep 4:18Being darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance which is in them, because of the hardness of their heart;
Ep 4:19Who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lasciviousness to work all uncleanness in greediness.
Ep 4:20But you did not so learn Christ,
Ep 4:21If indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him as the reality is in Jesus,
Ep 4:22That you put off, as regards your former manner of life, the old man, which is being corrupted according to the lusts of the deceit,
Ep 4:23And that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind
Ep 4:24And put on the new man, which was created according to God in righteousness and holiness of the reality.
Ep 4:25Therefore having put off the lie, speak truth each one with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.
Mosab always speaks out truth when I am doubting that's why I truly understand how this will work.
Ep 4:26Be angry, yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your indignation,
Ok I was planning to talk to him tomorrow because I don't want to give him a hard time when I am with blood.... our hormones get the best of us but he knew how to handle me.
Ep 4:27Neither give place to the devil.
AMEN!
Ep 4:28He who steals should steal no more, but rather should labor, working with his own hands in that which is respectable, that he may have something to share with him who has need.
Ep 4:29Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but only that which is good for building up, according to the need, that it may give grace to those who hear.
(Forgive me Father for hurting your Precious Beloved Son again today)
Ep 4:30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed unto the day of redemption.
Ep 4:31Let all bitterness and anger and wrath and clamor and evil speaking be removed from you, with all malice.
(So help me GOD)
Ep 4:32And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ also forgave you.
Please help Mosab be kind to me too, help us to be kind to one another, don't ever let the mistakes of my parents happen to us ABBA. We need you in this marriage. We need you more than ever.
Ba HaSHem YESHUA HaMashiach, AMen!
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